One of these days, I’ll really buckle down and actually train for my races. Like, full on follow the schedule and eat right and not stress and have a cig or two the week before the big day. I’ll follow the plan all the way through the end and not stop training the last month like I always do. This would all be true if most half marathons were’t right in the middle of the fall semester. Life, you guys.
So last year I ran my half in a total of 3:20:55. That’s a 15:20 pace. Less than ideal. I had the best running buddy who cheered me on and wouldn’t let me quit even after a dude racing dressed as a friggin’ dinosaur passed us. This year, I’m running alone. I’m half scared that I’m going to let my brain talk me into quitting halfway through and half excited to see how far I can push myself.
I stopped training altogether about a month ago. I’ve tried to get a run in here and there since then, but haven’t been able to run anything farther than a 5k due to time constraints. I stopped doing leg day because I didn’t want to risk being sore these last few days. But I have a plan. I’m going to do run/walk splits at 8/2 intervals all the way through. I think I can manage that the whole 13 miles without burning out and still make better time than last year. We’ll see how it goes. The race has a live app that lets people follow your progress and cheer you on, so I’ll be posting a link with my info because I know I’ll need all the cheers I can get.
My head’s already fucking with me and I’m thinking “it’s okay if you don’t go. you already paid anyway, so it’s not like you’d be wasting the money because it’s already done. you don’t need to do this to yourself. you can just walk all the way. enjoy the race!” But then I’m also like “nah, I have a damn 13.1 sticker on my truck. I can’t not run this. I’d be a total fake. a poser. no frickin’ way. you are doing this.” So I’m doing it. Y’all pray I don’t die, please <3.
Going on hour two of Rylan and Rayne going back and forth bickering and crying and being overall annoying. You eat first, no you eat first, stop looking at me, you moved the table a centimeter, wah, wahwah, wahwah.
I’m feeling a bit(lot) salty right now over a few things and have nothing nice to say and I kind of miss the days of just putting it all out here for people to read, but with age comes decorum and knowing when to shut ones mouth/restrain ones fingers. But man, do I ever want to just word vomit all over the damn place right now.
Instead though, I’m taking half a day off tomorrow to shop and go catch a movie and take care of myself because I need to/deserve to/want to. Peace out.
I do this thing with birthdays where in my mind, it has to be the birthday person’s most special day everrrrrr. In concept, that sounds great. But making that happen? Totally impossible. You can’t make every.single.birthday the most wonderful day ever. The pressure is crazy.
Unfortunately, I do the same for firsts. I get all excited and happy and expectant and I end up psyching myself out to the point where I just don’t want to do whatever it was I was looking forward to.
So this year, instead of focusing on Monday being THE FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL! I’m tricking myself into thinking that it’s just the second week back and it’s just another day. Yes, there will now be students and yes, I will now be teaching, but it’s just another day.
Except Monday is also Ellexa’s first day of “big girl school” (she attended pre-school at the same learning center she went to daycare). It’s her FIRST! DAY! OF SCHOOL! So I’m psyching myself out about that. Especially because our mornings are already so hectic and adding another school to the mix will definitely be testing our time constraints. I can’t not go to my child’s first day of school and walk her into her classroom and stay for a bit. I just can’t! So I’m praying it all works out and goes smoothly and she doesn’t cry and Elliah doesn’t have a meltdown at pre-school and I’m not epically late to work.
And oh my gosh, did I mention Caleb started 7th grade this year? He shot up and slimmed down and is all grown up.
And Monika. She’s a junior. A JUNIOR. What the hell, man???
I’m gonna go make me a tea and cry in a corner. Forget firsts! Bah.
It is too late in the school year to be this annoyed. This morning has been a series of complaints and redirection. I get it. We’re all tired. Test prep kills us all. The weeks after the EOC should be easy-coasting and fun, which is why I gave a project rather than jumping right back into traditional stuff. And yet. Phones are out. Folders are neglected. Volume is out of hand. Structure and routines are forgotten. This will just not do.
There are so many things up in the air right now as far as next year’s calendar goes. When will the kids start school? Will we be starting in July if they start in August? What does that mean for off days throughout the first semester? When will the school year end? So many questions, so little/such vague answers. And there’s really no point in even worrying about it because there’s not much we can do about it anyway. But worry I will because the uncertainty kills me. I need set dates!!!
1 week to close out the Movie Theme Project.
2 weeks to close out the Original Sequel / Persuasive Trailer Project.
2 weeks for Animal Farm (not enough, but we’ll try).
1 week for Finals Review.
1 week for Finals.
1 week for End-of -the-School-Year activities.
Today was bad. I’m talking seeing red, don’t say your thoughts out loud or you’ll get fired, everyone get the hell away from me kind of bad. I’m not even sure what brought it on or what changed because this morning had been going great and then it all went to shit in a matter of minutes. I’ve felt out of it all day. My vision clouded, I felt like I wasn’t actually in my body all day. It’s weird as hell.
Come to think of it, it started yesterday and yesterday was a shitshow for the simple fact that I had no set schedule and that drives me absolutely bonkers. I hate not having set times for things and knowing what comes next. It throws me for a loop.
Unfortunately, with benchmark grading and holidays coming up, and then spring break, the next few weeks will be that way and then after testing everything is relaxed and kids don’t want to work and it’ll be like pulling teeth to get them to actually do something.
Blah. I’m off to run this mood off. 6 miles should be plenty of time to get me back to normal, no?
I’m running 3 miles tomorrow morning before the sun even rises. And then I’m wearing my cherry red Michael Kors pumps because I’m fucking fabulous.
And now it’s on the internet so it must be true. I might die, yes, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take at this point.
I started a 10K training program on Nike Run today. Will I be running a 10k anytime soon? Perhaps. But I’ll definitely be running a 5k in a few months so I’m sure this will prep me for that as well. I will say that I found it a bit ridiculous that it’s taking me from walking 1 mile today to running 3 tomorrow, but I guess it makes sense to someone who knows what they’re doing.
I’ve seriously been considering purchasing a domain because I’m so frustrated with wordpress, but it seems like a silly investment since I don’t post consistently whatsoever, although that may be because wordpress sucks and now we’ve come full circle.
I’m throwing in my Outfits of the Week post from last week because I got so frustrated Friday with not being able to post the picture that I just gave up, so here it is. Wednesday was a disaster, but I was SO damn comfortable. I felt like I was walking around wrapped in a blanket. And Friday was my favorite although it didn’t photograph well. Oh well.
Ok, off to bed to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to get my fitness in. We’ll see if it really happens.
At the risk of jinxing myself, I’m going to go ahead and say that 2016 is off to a great start!
In true list-loving, typical blogger form, here are my lists for 2016.
Things I want to do
Make it a point to see my friends more often. I know we’re all grown and super busy, but this is ridiculous. I haven’t seen some of you in months and we live in the same city!
Run a half marathon. My little heart wants this oh-so-much.
By that same token, exercise on a regular basis Stick with my runs and do my squats.
Post on here on a regular basis. I used to enjoy blogging so much and it was so therapeutic for me. I need that back.
Stop coveting material things and enjoy what I have to the fullest. I read quite a few interior design blogs and every time I click on a link to an item, it’s a bajillion zillion dollars and it makes me want to kick my sofa. Instead, I want to revamp what I have and make it work for me.
Be nicer to the kids. I’ve been stressed a little more than usual lately and it’s made me a very yelly-short tempered mother.
Take a trip to Disney. No explanation needed.
Keep going to concerts. See above.
Keep in touch with my extended family. I saw/reconnected with a lot of my cousins at Monika’s quince and I want to keep that communication going.
Habits I want to keep
Really, truly planning lessons ahead. Not just planning with a general idea or concept in mind, but planning down to the nitty gritty details. I started the school year doing this and then eased up a bit towards winter break and regretted it immediately. I love structure and control.
Posting/documenting my Outfits of the Week. Doing this kept me motivated to get creative with my wardrobe rather than resorting to the same old tired outfits, which in turn kept me from yelling “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” every other day.
Removing my makeup everysinglenight. I know. This is something I should’ve always been in the habit of doing, but let’s face it, I’m lazy. However, I have been doing it more often and will do it every night because my skin ain’t young and lustrous anymore =(
Having breakfast daily. It helps keep my energy levels up and my eating habits on track.
Keeping my caffeine consumption in check. I remember I used to drink about 12 cups a day at my old job. Now 2 is all I really need to get me going.
Habits I want to break:
Putting off working out because it’s cold/hot/I’m too tired/hormonal.
Having late dinners. I always feel like crap right after and way into the next day.
Eating justhisonepieceofchocolate because I’m having a bad day.
This one’s going to be tough since it’s ingrained in my nature.
So there you have it. I totally procrastinated, strung together list. Here’s to a great year!