I do this thing with birthdays where in my mind, it has to be the birthday person’s most special day everrrrrr. In concept, that sounds great. But making that happen? Totally impossible. You can’t make every.single.birthday the most wonderful day ever. The pressure is crazy.
Unfortunately, I do the same for firsts. I get all excited and happy and expectant and I end up psyching myself out to the point where I just don’t want to do whatever it was I was looking forward to.
So this year, instead of focusing on Monday being THE FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL! I’m tricking myself into thinking that it’s just the second week back and it’s just another day. Yes, there will now be students and yes, I will now be teaching, but it’s just another day.
Except Monday is also Ellexa’s first day of “big girl school” (she attended pre-school at the same learning center she went to daycare). It’s her FIRST! DAY! OF SCHOOL! So I’m psyching myself out about that. Especially because our mornings are already so hectic and adding another school to the mix will definitely be testing our time constraints. I can’t not go to my child’s first day of school and walk her into her classroom and stay for a bit. I just can’t! So I’m praying it all works out and goes smoothly and she doesn’t cry and Elliah doesn’t have a meltdown at pre-school and I’m not epically late to work.
And oh my gosh, did I mention Caleb started 7th grade this year? He shot up and slimmed down and is all grown up.
And Monika. She’s a junior. A JUNIOR. What the hell, man???
I’m gonna go make me a tea and cry in a corner. Forget firsts! Bah.
I’m currently sitting on my couch eating chips and pecans out of a bowl that I’ve hidden under my throw blanket so the girls don’t see it because they will inevitably wipe me out of said snacks within the minute. Horrible, selfish, justified.
You know how they say that teenage athletes will eat though your pantry and fridge in minutes? Well, my toddlers will too. Growth spurts, gotta love them. Except my kids are currently obsessed with waffles and marshmallow cereal. I can make the most delicious spaghetti (their favorite food) and lately they’ll pass it up for some good old fashioned cereal. I’ve been giving in because usually, they eat pretty healthy. Also, because it’s summer and rules don’t count in summer. Especially when we all go back to reality in less than a month. *insert crying emoji here*
I wish I had Oreo cookies at home.
I’ve had some pretty awesome thoughts about some things I want to implement next year year, but have refused to think too much about them so they’ve just been jotted down. I refuse to acknowledge that this is almost over. I know I need to start waking up earlier so it won’t be a total shock on my body, but I’ll get to that eventually. I also need to find some cute, comfortable, affordable heels to teach in, so that’s on the list.
Ah, lists. I have so enjoyed living without them (not really, but I have enjoyed not needing to follow them to a T).
Anyway, back to
eating my feelings snacking and avoiding what’s right around the corner. Enjoy your summer, people!
First ever two-a-day workout done. I feel pretty damn good. I’ll probably be dying tomorrow, but for now I feel invincible.
But you know, every time I post something on any social media platform, I feel judged. I feel silly. I feel like people will tire of reading posts about me boosting myself up. It takes every ounce of confidence in me to post outfits or workouts or selfies or teaching successes.
And it sucks. And it’s stupid. Because honestly, you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. You can scroll right past my posts on Facebook or Instagram. Hell, if it really bothers you that much, you can delete me all together. And if you look just to find something to criticize, well then “hi, hater!” knock yourself out!
Because this is me. And I’ve worked pretty damn hard to get myself to where I’m at now. Back in my early 20s, I used to post for validation. I used to have a debilitating need to feel liked and accepted and part of the crowd. Now though? I’d be lying of I said I didn’t struggle with it. Sometimes I sit on a post for hours thinking about what people will say or think. But I always end up hitting “post” because those who matter, don’t mind.
I guess what I’m saying with all of this is that I feel stronger. Sticking to a workout plan, staying true to my vision of myself, and sticking to my gut with what works for me as a teacher has all made me feel much muchier. Shout out to all those of you who get the reference. And for those of you who post all your success stories and tidbits, thank you for being an inspiration. ❤
So Monika’s ACL is torn. The specialist also thinks she tore her lateral meniscus, but she’ll need an MRI to confirm. She will need surgery to repair both ligaments. He suggested doing the surgery ASAP.
Monika’s 15th birthday is in exactly three weeks. Her quinceañera is four days later. She is devastated. I’m a wreck.
She didn’t talk much for hours after the appointment. There wasn’t anything I could do to help. That’s torture for a mother.
So now we have to decide whether to do the surgery before or after the party. The party seems so trivial, but it’s not. It’s something we have been planning and working towards for the past 2 years. She has been looking forward to this since her 12th birthday. It’s not just a party; it’s a life event.
And now this. Yes, we can still have the party if she has the surgery before, but she won’t be able to dance much, if at all. It breaks my heart because she loves to dance. And then phrases like that make me feel terrible for being thankless and not counting my blessings because it could have been much worse.
But I’m sad and angry and powerless in all this and it sucks. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.
And soccer. She might not be ready to play by the time the season starts and she was very much looking forward to playing varsity. Now who knows what will happen with that. *deep sigh*
I just can’t. All I can do is pray for guidance and strength and sanity.
Today’s my last day of work and I’m sure you can imagine my excitement over that.
I still have a few days/weeks to go before I’m able to fully (not really) veg out and do nothing during the day though since we have quinceañera stuff and I have some home projects I want to tackle this summer.
On the list:
- Redecorate the kids’/guest bathroom. I want to find a theme that they both like since they both seem to have outgrown the current monkey theme (Lexi and Liah both love it, though…womp)
- Paint the trim and front door of the house. I want a neutral color for the trim and a vibrant color for the door. Still thinking up color schemes…
- Finish redecorating all the kids’ rooms. Ambitious? Yes. Doable? Totally. Monika had decided on a B&W theme and we started a basketball theme in Caleb’s room (he recently asked me to stop calling him Kbob *cue tears*). The girls’ room is an explosion of pink and I’m so over it. We found an awesome shadowbox frame with “You are my sunshine” (their favorite song) in white and gold and a super cute blue canvas piece with gold accents so I’m just going to decorate around that. Their beds are Minnie Mouse themed, but that’s okay. We’ll work with it.
- Organize the garage. Every time we rid ourselves of some big piece of furniture we have stored in there, we seem to accumulate more stuff to replace it. My hubby put some stuff up on racks and shelves, so mainly, it just needs to be reorganized, but we’ve lacked the time to be able to do so.
The other projects are pretty major and I’m sure won’t get done this summer, but I’m fine with that:
- Installing tile in the dining room/kitchen
- Replacing the carpet in the kids’ rooms with hardwood
- Renovating the kitchen – cabinets, counters, and sink (but that’s a beast of another kind)
My husband’s all about DIY while I’m more of a “let’s just pay someone to do it” type, but that’s just not realistic on our budget. Besides, we’d both much rather take a family vacation than spend money paying someone to do stuff for us. And though I hate to admit it, there is some fun in getting down and dirty and knowing your sweat and tears (and as is the Sanchez way, almost always some degree of blood, lol) went in to the finished product.
That being said, bring on the summer fun!
I’m not ready.
Not ready to let go of my babies and entrust them to the daycare.
Not ready to end my days spent at home with all my kids.
Not ready to wake up early and stay up as a functional member of society.
I’m just not ready yet.
Why can’t it be summer forever?
So my brief stint as a housewife/stay-at-home mom is quickly coming to an end.
With school starting on Monday for me & Wednesday for the munchkins, my brain has entered “frantic mode” which means I’ve made list upon list of things I need to get done before I lose these precious daytime hours to get.shit.done.
The lists have remained in my brain though, because back to school means less time to enjoy moments like these:
Plus to be completely honest, I want a little bit of time to enjoy my last moments of laziness. Sitting on the couch sipping coffee, watching endless reruns of my favorite shows…as if!
I asked the kids to give me one last thing they want to do before summer vacay is over. Kbob wanted to go play basketball at the park because apparently, shooting on the hoop we have at home “is NOT the same, Moooom.” Fine, easy as done. As for M, she couldn’t think of anything which means her summer was awesome and perfect and BAM! Done. “Parents of the Year” award goes to us.
I’m thinking I’m going to post something along the lines of “Our Summer in Pictures” on Friday because I’m kind of sad a about all the pics forever confined to my phone, plus let’s face it, I have some cute kids, y’all. That, and I’m actually thinking of blogging regularly again and that’s much easier to do when I can fill this place up with pictures.
Stay tuned for tales from school, picture blogs, and my regularly scheduled (not so much) rants!