Munchkins

Mustard.

I’ve been meaning to post about the beginning of the school year and how all that’s going and my training and my birthday and everything, but I’ve fallen down the Netflix rabbit hole and every spare moment I’ve had has been spent watching Dexter with Mona.

Ellexa is LOVING pre-k. She adjusted as well as I thought she would. She loves her teacher and she enjoys doing her homework (most of the time). She loves telling us all about the new things she learns and does each day.

Elliah is still adjusting. Every day is a battle of wills to get her to stay at daycare without crying. There’s nothing that she doesn’t like about it, she just got so used to having her big sister there with her.

Mona is doing as Mona always does: amazingly well.  That child never ceases to amaze me.  Noteworthy: Cotillion dress shopping has begun.  Bring on the hunt!

Caleb is doing great.  He has joined flag football and has his first game tomorrow. Basketball still is and will probably always be #1 in his heart, but I’m glad he’s branching out.

My gym membership has gotten little to no use.  I’ve managed to work in a few outdoor runs here and there and one single strength workout since school started, but that’s it. And let me tell you, I can feel the difference.  Not a fan of this lethargic, pudgy feeling I’ve got going on 24/7.

I haven’t even done my OOTD posts anymore because I hate the location of my mirror and need to figure something else out.  My hair needs a touch-up.  I’ve got lesson plans to work on.  I pulled something in my back and can barely move.  It’s gonna be a fun weekend.  This is 31!

 

On the end of summer and not hyping up firsts

I do this thing with birthdays where in my mind, it has to be the birthday person’s most special day everrrrrr.  In concept, that sounds great.  But making that happen? Totally impossible.  You can’t make every.single.birthday the most wonderful day ever. The pressure is crazy.

Unfortunately, I do the same for firsts. I get all excited and happy and expectant and I end up psyching myself out to the point where I just don’t want to do whatever it was I was looking forward to.

So this year, instead of focusing on Monday being THE FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL! I’m tricking myself into thinking that it’s just the second week back and it’s just another day. Yes, there will now be students and yes, I will now be teaching, but it’s just another day.

Except Monday is also Ellexa’s first day of “big girl school” (she attended pre-school at the same learning center she went to daycare).  It’s her FIRST! DAY! OF SCHOOL! So I’m psyching myself out about that.  Especially because our mornings are already so hectic and adding another school to the mix will definitely be testing our time constraints.  I can’t not go to my child’s first day of school and walk her into her classroom and stay for a bit.  I just can’t! So I’m praying it all works out and goes smoothly and she doesn’t cry and Elliah doesn’t have a meltdown at pre-school and I’m not epically late to work.

And oh my gosh, did I mention Caleb started 7th grade this year? He shot up and slimmed down and is all grown up.

And Monika.  She’s a junior.  A JUNIOR.  What the hell, man???

I’m gonna go make me a tea and cry in a corner.  Forget firsts! Bah.

On summer snacking

I’m currently sitting on my couch eating chips and pecans out of a bowl that I’ve hidden under my throw blanket so the girls don’t see it because they will inevitably wipe me out of said snacks within the minute.  Horrible, selfish, justified.

You know how they say that teenage athletes will eat though your pantry and fridge in minutes? Well, my toddlers will too.  Growth spurts, gotta love them.  Except my kids are currently obsessed with waffles and marshmallow cereal.  I can make the most delicious spaghetti (their favorite food) and lately they’ll pass it up for some good old fashioned cereal.  I’ve been giving in because usually, they eat pretty healthy.  Also, because it’s summer and rules don’t count in summer.  Especially when we all go back to reality in less than a month. *insert crying emoji here*

I wish I had Oreo cookies at home.

I’ve had some pretty awesome thoughts about some things I want to implement next year year, but have refused to think too much about them so they’ve just been jotted down.  I refuse to acknowledge that this is almost over.  I know I need to start waking up earlier so it won’t be a total shock on my body, but I’ll get to that eventually.  I also need to find some cute, comfortable, affordable heels to teach in, so that’s on the list.

Ah, lists.  I have so enjoyed living without them (not really, but I have enjoyed not needing to follow them to a T).

Anyway, back to eating my feelings snacking and avoiding what’s right around the corner. Enjoy your summer, people!

 

 

Four and done.

The girls are growing up and I’m finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and that light doesn’t include any more babies.

The girls are out of diapers.  They can get basic things like water and snacks for themselves.  They sleep (mostly) through the night and in their own room.  They can both tell me what they want/need verbally instead of crying (although meltdowns are the exception because words go out the window).  I don’t have to worry about carrying diapers/bottles/baby food/strollers around.  They can walk or sit in a shopping cart.  They can entertain themselves.  Monika is old enough to babysit and the girls are old enough to be babysat.

I’m enjoying my time with my kids. Most of the time I feel like I barely have enough time to pay enough attention to each one of them individually and adding one more baby into the mix would be chaotic and just not an option at this point.  I want to be able to spend time with each of my kids one-on-one and I can only spread myself so thin before being totally wiped out from existence.

My kids all have huge, ginormous, strong personalities. Which I am very, very thankful, I might add.  But it’s exhausting.  Dealing with four different personalities is tough. And they’re all so…expressive and vocal and in-your-face.  There is no tuning them out.  There is no “holdonasecletmecatchmythoughts” It’s always go-go-go.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way!  I’m loving watching each one of them develop their personalities and grow up.  Sometimes it kills me that time goes by so fast.  Especially when I think about Monika and how she’s almost 16, almost out of high school, and almost ready to drive.  She’s almost an adult. And Ellexa is starting school this year.  SCHOOL! It’s crazy, but oh so exciting!  I always thought once the girls got older I’d be itching to have another tiny baby at home, but no.  The baby fever is gone.

I’m looking forward to not having car seats in my truck and not having to buckle/unbuckle each seat every single time we go somewhere.  I’m ready for my truck to stop feeling so crowded because of clunky, oversized carseats.

I’m looking forward to be done paying for daycare.  I mean, that’ll likely last a few more years as after-school care is necessary since school schedules vary so much between grade levels, but either way, I’m ready for that money to be back in my pocket. (it will more than likely not be seeing as kids get progressively more expensive each year of life, but still)

I’m looking forward to being able to go to soccer games and basketball games and award ceremonies for the big kids and whatever activities the girls decide to pursue without having to calm a fussy baby/toddler.

I’m looking forward to watching my babies grow up and be able to really be present in the moment.  ❤

 

 

 

Don’t call this a resolution.

At the risk of jinxing myself, I’m going to go ahead and say that 2016 is off to a great start!

In true list-loving, typical blogger form, here are my lists for 2016.

Things I want to do

  • Make it a point to see my friends more often.  I know we’re all grown and super busy, but this is ridiculous.  I haven’t seen some of you in months and we live in the same city!
  • Run a half marathon.  My little heart wants this oh-so-much.
  • By that same token, exercise on a regular basis  Stick with my runs and do my squats.
  • Post on here on a regular basis.  I used to enjoy blogging so much and it was so therapeutic for me.  I need that back.
  • Stop coveting material things and enjoy what I have to the fullest.  I read quite a few interior design blogs and every time I click on a link to an item, it’s a bajillion zillion dollars and it makes me want to kick my sofa.  Instead, I want to revamp what I have and make it work for me.
  • Be nicer to the kids.  I’ve been stressed a little more than usual lately and it’s made me a very yelly-short tempered mother.
  • Take a trip to Disney.  No explanation needed.
  • Keep going to concerts.  See above.
  • Keep in touch with my extended family.  I saw/reconnected with a lot of my cousins at Monika’s quince and I want to keep that communication going.

Habits I want to keep

  • Really, truly planning lessons ahead.  Not just planning with a general idea or concept in mind, but planning down to the nitty gritty details. I started the school year doing this and then eased up a bit towards winter break and regretted it immediately.  I love structure and control.
  • Posting/documenting my Outfits of the Week.  Doing this kept me motivated to get creative with my wardrobe rather than resorting to the same old tired outfits, which in turn kept me from yelling “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” every other day.
  • Removing my makeup everysinglenight.  I know.  This is something I should’ve always been in the habit of doing, but let’s face it, I’m lazy.  However, I have been doing it more often and will do it every night because my skin ain’t young and lustrous anymore =(
  • Having breakfast daily.  It helps keep my energy levels up and my eating habits on track.
  • Keeping my caffeine consumption in check.  I remember I used to drink about 12 cups a day at my old job.  Now 2 is all I really need to get me going.

Habits I want to break:

  • Unhealthy Snacking.
  • Putting off working out because it’s cold/hot/I’m too tired/hormonal.
  • Having late dinners.  I always feel like crap right after and way into the next day.
  • Eating justhisonepieceofchocolate because I’m having a bad day.
  • This one’s going to be tough since it’s ingrained in my nature.

So there you have it.  I totally procrastinated, strung together list.  Here’s to a great year!

First #ootw of 2016. #whatIwore #ootd #teachinginstyle #teachersofinstagram

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So Monika’s ACL is torn.  The specialist also thinks she tore her lateral meniscus, but she’ll need an MRI to confirm.  She will need surgery to repair both ligaments.  He suggested doing the surgery ASAP.

Monika’s 15th birthday is in exactly three weeks.  Her quinceañera is four days later.  She is devastated.  I’m a wreck.

She didn’t talk much for hours after the appointment.  There wasn’t anything I could do to help.  That’s torture for a mother.

So now we have to decide whether to do the surgery before or after the party.  The party seems so trivial, but it’s not.  It’s something we have been planning and working towards for the past 2 years.  She has been looking forward to this since her 12th birthday.  It’s not just a party; it’s a life event.

And now this.  Yes, we can still have the party if she has the surgery before, but she won’t be able to dance much, if at all.  It breaks my heart because she loves to dance. And then phrases like that make me feel terrible for being thankless and not counting my blessings because it could have been much worse.

But I’m sad and angry and powerless in all this and it sucks.  I can’t imagine what she’s going through.

And soccer.  She might not be ready to play by the time the season starts and she was very much looking forward to playing varsity.  Now who knows what will happen with that. *deep sigh*

I just can’t.  All I can do is pray for guidance and strength and sanity.

 

This and that. Injuries and clumsiness.

Monika messed up her knee pretty badly last Thursday.  I say “messed up” because nothing is fractured, and yet it’s still swollen and achy and she is beyond frustrated and I feel helpless because there’s nothing I can do to help her feel better.  She’s always been my Little Miss Independent and the crutches limit her ability to do a lot of things, she is pain although she tries to be strong, and there’s the big looming possibility that she might not be able to dance at her own quinceañera.  It’s crushing me and I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through.  We won’t know more until the swelling goes down and she can possibly get an MRI, but we continue to pray that she heals.

In keeping up with family shenanigans, Elliah fell pretty badly earlier today and has a shiner that makes me cry every time I look at it. She let me cuddle her and ice it for about 1.2 minutes before being done with it all and getting frustrated and wanting to be left alone.  The only thing that helped was bribing her with a teta so she could sit still long enough to put a cold compress on her face.

Caleb and Ellexa remain unscathed for the moment and I’m praying it stays that way.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

In better news, Friday is my last day of summer school and ohmygosh am I ready for it to be over.  I had a good batch of kids, but I long for mornings starting after 7 AM and not having to read any more essays or short answer responses for a good month and a half.

I’m anxious to tackle my summer to do list and watch endless hours of television and have enough time to focus on my health.  Bring on summer vacation!