goals

La Tortura (pre-race)

One of these days, I’ll really buckle down and actually train for my races. Like, full on follow the schedule and eat right and not stress and have a cig or two the week before the big day. I’ll follow the plan all the way through the end and not stop training the last month like I always do. This would all be true if most half marathons were’t right in the middle of the fall semester.  Life, you guys.

So last year I ran my half in a total of 3:20:55. That’s a 15:20 pace. Less than ideal. I had the best running buddy who cheered me on and wouldn’t let me quit even after a dude racing dressed as a friggin’ dinosaur passed us. This year, I’m running alone. I’m half scared that I’m going to let my brain talk me into quitting halfway through and half excited to see how far I can push myself.

I stopped training altogether about a month ago. I’ve tried to get a run in here and there since then, but haven’t been able to run anything farther than a 5k due to time constraints. I stopped doing leg day because I didn’t want to risk being sore these last few days. But I have a plan. I’m going to do run/walk splits at 8/2 intervals all the way through. I think I can manage that the whole 13 miles without burning out and still make better time than last year. We’ll see how it goes. The race has a live app that lets people follow your progress and cheer you on, so I’ll be posting a link with my info because I know I’ll need all the cheers I can get.

My head’s already fucking with me and I’m thinking “it’s okay if you don’t go. you already paid anyway, so it’s not like you’d be wasting the money because it’s already done. you don’t need to do this to yourself. you can just walk all the way. enjoy the race!” But then I’m also like “nah, I have a damn 13.1 sticker on my truck. I can’t not run this. I’d be a total fake. a poser. no frickin’ way. you are doing this.” So I’m doing it. Y’all pray I don’t die, please <3.

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Sometimes

Sometimes, you just want to say “fuck decorum” and just put it all out there because it’s therapeutic.  Because blasting people that need to be blasted eases my mind and soothes my soul.

But doing so would be in poor taste and would cause more harm than good and in the end would do nothing more than make me feel better for a few minutes and then I’d go back to being miserable because venting about something helps, but it doesn’t make the problem go away.

So thank goodness for sisterly bonds and LDRs and people who get it and don’t judge.  All my love to you, babe.

Sometimes, you just need to focus on the good like grad school applications and having completed my education and being thankful that I have a career AND a great ass & I’m not stuck at some dead-end job with no diploma.

Sometimes, you just have to channel your frustrations and let them be your motivation to do better, try harder, go stronger.  You have to take that next step that will get you where you want to be.  Be it running a half marathon or finally getting a master’s degree or simply learning to let go of old demons.

Sometimes, you just need to remember to breathe.

 

On Daily Workouts

What I learned while attempting to workout every single day for a month:

Working out (whether it be something light like a long walk or a jog or a strength training session) makes me feel good.  It makes me feel alive and capable and strong.

Sweating and getting my heart rate up truly does have healing powers against anxiety and mood disorders.  I found that on the days I didn’t go to the gym early in the morning, I was moodier during the day and had horrible anxiety throughout the morning.

If I don’t workout in the morning, I don’t work out at all. That’s just a fact.  So 5 AM wake-ups are a requirement for me.  Life is just too busy the rest of the day and I hate to feel rushed and anytime I’d go after work, I’d feel like I had to stop early or cut sets because I had to run out and pick up the kids.

It made me feel like a bad ass.  For the first 24 days, anyway.  After that, my body felt like it quit on me.  I overworked it, didn’t give it enough rest, and it responded accordingly…which leads me to my next point:

Daily is too much for me.  Especially in March when work is historically hectic & the kids’ sports schedules are in full swing.  The pressure I put on myself to do it stressed me out even more and it just led to more health issues and breakdowns.

Daily workouts are awesome and will continue to be something I strive to do obviously for my physical health, but also for my mental well being. However, I no longer feel the need to stress over missing a workout or putting undue pressure on myself to do it every single day or beating myself up for missing a day if I feel too tired or too sick. I’ll make sure I listen to by body and rest when it tells me to rest.

I’m going to miss closing my circles daily.  Seeing those little suckers loop all the way around made my heart happy.

I didn’t lose a single pound.  I gained a lot, actually.  Probably due to the stress I mentioned above and not eating right and all of that.  So that sucked.

But still.  Look at the improvement on those circles, man…

 

On plateaus

I started going to the gym at the beginning of July.  Prior to that I mainly ran every other day, three miles or so.  The scale wasn’t moving, my legs looked okay, but not as toned as I’d like them to.  I started the 30 Day Shred which had given me awesome results before, but nothing this time.  Now I go to the gym every week day and do cardio/HIIT for a warm-up and then weights. I’ve gained five pounds.  What the duck?

It’s frustrating.  My body has changed and I’ve toned up in some areas, but I haven’t slimmed down at all.  I’ve gained weight.  And I mean, yeah, it’s still pretty awesome because my legs used to be one of the things I was super self conscious about and now I live in shorts, but still.  Frustrating.  I feel like I eat less than I used to.  I got tired of logging shit on myfitnesspal every time I ate so I don’t know for sure anymore.  And I mean, I know I can cut down on the snacking and late eating, and once I go back to work that’ll hopefully be easier, but ohmygosh why can’t I just drop a few pounds???

Don’t get me wrong.  I have some new found confidence. Hell, I even bought a crop top to wear with a high-waisted skirt the other day.  I feel stronger.  I look better.  But my mid-section is killing my vibe, yo.  Maybe I should give up dairy? I feel bloated all the damn time.  It sucks.  So the new realization is that my diet sucks.  I swear I could eat nothing but salads all damn day and still feel sick and bloated afterwards.  So what do I eat?! Ugh.

 

Metaphors & OOTW

I bought a domain on google and now I have no idea what to do with it.  Any help/advice is certainly appreciated.

So this happened yesterday and it was monumental in my fitness journey as I have a) never exercised non-stop for over 40 minutes and b) never walked/jogged/ran 5 consecutive miles.  I mean, I probably have never done that in my life, but I don’t want to hyperbolize.

IMG_1932

When I started training for a 10K I did it more because I need structure and the Nike Fuel app gave me a daily distance, workout, and built in rest days.  If I didn’t have a plan for what to do each day, I’d just do the same thing everyday until I burned out and quit a week in.  So I figured it would at least help me stay active and I’d cut back on days when I had long runs because no way I could run anything past 3.5 miles.  Well.  I’ve proven myself wrong.  Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to die yesterday.  I was near tears after mile 4.  But I pushed myself and I was so damn excited/proud/high when I was done.

I think that’s a great metaphor for other things going on in my life right now.

Things may get uncomfortable, and some days I may just want to throw in the towel and deal with the consequences rather than put in the work and effort, but the reward for sticking with it and seeing it through is so much greater.

So that’s that.

Here’s the OOTW for last week.  I got an awesome new top from Glam Tops, but have yet to take a decent picture of me in it.  Hopefully it’ll make it’s debut next week if I have time to do my hurr.

E24E8D00-24A0-4318-834D-52F6EFAC5AA4Super blah although I will say the black on black outfit was fierce in person after I actually did my makeup.

So there you have it.  I’m off to get ready to take my girls to the zoo since the weather is gorgeous!  Have a great Sunday, y’all!

Don’t call this a resolution.

At the risk of jinxing myself, I’m going to go ahead and say that 2016 is off to a great start!

In true list-loving, typical blogger form, here are my lists for 2016.

Things I want to do

  • Make it a point to see my friends more often.  I know we’re all grown and super busy, but this is ridiculous.  I haven’t seen some of you in months and we live in the same city!
  • Run a half marathon.  My little heart wants this oh-so-much.
  • By that same token, exercise on a regular basis  Stick with my runs and do my squats.
  • Post on here on a regular basis.  I used to enjoy blogging so much and it was so therapeutic for me.  I need that back.
  • Stop coveting material things and enjoy what I have to the fullest.  I read quite a few interior design blogs and every time I click on a link to an item, it’s a bajillion zillion dollars and it makes me want to kick my sofa.  Instead, I want to revamp what I have and make it work for me.
  • Be nicer to the kids.  I’ve been stressed a little more than usual lately and it’s made me a very yelly-short tempered mother.
  • Take a trip to Disney.  No explanation needed.
  • Keep going to concerts.  See above.
  • Keep in touch with my extended family.  I saw/reconnected with a lot of my cousins at Monika’s quince and I want to keep that communication going.

Habits I want to keep

  • Really, truly planning lessons ahead.  Not just planning with a general idea or concept in mind, but planning down to the nitty gritty details. I started the school year doing this and then eased up a bit towards winter break and regretted it immediately.  I love structure and control.
  • Posting/documenting my Outfits of the Week.  Doing this kept me motivated to get creative with my wardrobe rather than resorting to the same old tired outfits, which in turn kept me from yelling “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” every other day.
  • Removing my makeup everysinglenight.  I know.  This is something I should’ve always been in the habit of doing, but let’s face it, I’m lazy.  However, I have been doing it more often and will do it every night because my skin ain’t young and lustrous anymore =(
  • Having breakfast daily.  It helps keep my energy levels up and my eating habits on track.
  • Keeping my caffeine consumption in check.  I remember I used to drink about 12 cups a day at my old job.  Now 2 is all I really need to get me going.

Habits I want to break:

  • Unhealthy Snacking.
  • Putting off working out because it’s cold/hot/I’m too tired/hormonal.
  • Having late dinners.  I always feel like crap right after and way into the next day.
  • Eating justhisonepieceofchocolate because I’m having a bad day.
  • This one’s going to be tough since it’s ingrained in my nature.

So there you have it.  I totally procrastinated, strung together list.  Here’s to a great year!

First #ootw of 2016. #whatIwore #ootd #teachinginstyle #teachersofinstagram

A post shared by Rosie Sanchez (@rosieesanchezz) on

Introvert+Truth+Teamwork+Positivity+Downtime

This introvert needs some alone time.

I’m taking tomorrow off.  I feel sensory overload.  People, noise, my surroundings.  I need to get away from it all.

I need downtime.  Quiet.  Peace.  Even if it’s just for a few moments.  I need to be completely alone.

I know some people don’t get it.  I know some people think it’s selfish.  I know some think it’s an excuse for time off.  To the latter two types I say “eff you and your judgy bullshit.”

The older I get, the more I get to know myself and the clearer it becomes.  There are some things I absolutely need in order to function:  prayer, plenty of sleep, lots of water, exercise, organization, a planner, and downtime.  These things are crucial in order for me to not have a breakdown and bitch out everyone in sight.

I also need to work on my diet because PMS gets the best of me and I eat everything in sight knowing damn well that I’ll feel like shit a few minutes later and for days to come.  The more I pay attention to how food affects me, the more I realize that sugar makes me sick.  It makes me antsy and irritable and lethargic.  Red meat makes me feel bloated and gross. Bread and milk totally screw up my system.  And yet. I had ALL OF THAT today.  And while it was savory and I justified it with PMS, I’m already feeling sluggish and  it didn’t even help my mood at all.

I need to get back to running in the mornings.  Being up before everyone, the quiet, it made me feel at peace even if for a bit.  I need to eat better.  Because with as much as I’ve been busting my ass on the pavement, the scale keeps going up.  I need to stop cheating myself in order to see results.  I know all this, and still, it’s hard.

Because when students don’t listen and you answer the same question eleventy million times and the kids you want to help refuse it and the ones you thought were improving fall, it’s so easy to turn to a chocolate bar and say “I deserve this after the day I’ve had” but I don’t.  What I do deserve is a talk with a team that has my back and understands.  And a run to burn out the negativity.  And time with my kids who seem to be growing up in the blink of an eye.  And I have all that.  Now all I need is my me-time.  ❤