Everyone in my house is sick right now. Monika has a cough that won’t quit. Ellexa has a horrible ear infection. My husband managed to catch that too. Elliah has really bad allergies. Caleb and I see to be the only normal ones right now, but living with four sick people and not getting sick yourself is nearly impossible. I feel my ears tingly and my throat scratchy, I’ve been drinking emergen-c and taking vitamins like crazy. Drinking a ton of water. And yet.
I have my first half marathon to run on Sunday. I.cannot.get.sick. Fk. I hate this.
And then to top all this shit off, I went for a short, easy run yesterday and now my left knee hurts all the way up to my thigh. @(*&*^%&#(%$^)*@&
I’ve been eating like crap because I’m so busy all the damn time so I’m too tired to cook so takeout always seems like the easiest option, but it makes me feel so gross and sick.
I need a reset. I need a vacation. I need a getaway.
Sunday. Run. Monday. Rest. Cannot. Wait.
Going on hour two of Rylan and Rayne going back and forth bickering and crying and being overall annoying. You eat first, no you eat first, stop looking at me, you moved the table a centimeter, wah, wahwah, wahwah.
I’m feeling a bit(lot) salty right now over a few things and have nothing nice to say and I kind of miss the days of just putting it all out here for people to read, but with age comes decorum and knowing when to shut ones mouth/restrain ones fingers. But man, do I ever want to just word vomit all over the damn place right now.
Instead though, I’m taking half a day off tomorrow to shop and go catch a movie and take care of myself because I need to/deserve to/want to. Peace out.
I’ve gained about five pounds in the last two weeks and while it may not seem like much, it *is* because it puts me right under my “dreaded” weight and that is so not okay. I wish I had more time to run. I wish I had more time to myself. But alas, family comes first.
I’ve been eating my feelings and my stress and it’s been so easy to justify a cookie here and a chocolate there because “I’m going running after work anyway” except I don’t because I’m running around like a crazy woman doing pick-ups after school.
I’m seriously considering taking a mental health day because while I don’t feel stressed, I know I am. I just want a day to go to the movies and sleep and shop and not have a worry in the world until it’s time to pick up all the munchkins from school. A day to just turn my brain off.
So I’ve promised myself a few new outfits when I reach my goal weight in order to motivate myself to eat better. I’ve promised myself I will manage a way to sneak in a run every two days because the half marathon is literally ten days away. And I’ve promised myself to take the day after the marathon off because I’ll be exhausted and will need to recover and what better way to do that than with sleep, movies, and more sleep?
Until then, peace out.
I’ve been meaning to post about the beginning of the school year and how all that’s going and my training and my birthday and everything, but I’ve fallen down the Netflix rabbit hole and every spare moment I’ve had has been spent watching Dexter with Mona.
Ellexa is LOVING pre-k. She adjusted as well as I thought she would. She loves her teacher and she enjoys doing her homework (most of the time). She loves telling us all about the new things she learns and does each day.
Elliah is still adjusting. Every day is a battle of wills to get her to stay at daycare without crying. There’s nothing that she doesn’t like about it, she just got so used to having her big sister there with her.
Mona is doing as Mona always does: amazingly well. That child never ceases to amaze me. Noteworthy: Cotillion dress shopping has begun. Bring on the hunt!
Caleb is doing great. He has joined flag football and has his first game tomorrow. Basketball still is and will probably always be #1 in his heart, but I’m glad he’s branching out.
My gym membership has gotten little to no use. I’ve managed to work in a few outdoor runs here and there and one single strength workout since school started, but that’s it. And let me tell you, I can feel the difference. Not a fan of this lethargic, pudgy feeling I’ve got going on 24/7.
I haven’t even done my OOTD posts anymore because I hate the location of my mirror and need to figure something else out. My hair needs a touch-up. I’ve got lesson plans to work on. I pulled something in my back and can barely move. It’s gonna be a fun weekend. This is 31!
I do this thing with birthdays where in my mind, it has to be the birthday person’s most special day everrrrrr. In concept, that sounds great. But making that happen? Totally impossible. You can’t make every.single.birthday the most wonderful day ever. The pressure is crazy.
Unfortunately, I do the same for firsts. I get all excited and happy and expectant and I end up psyching myself out to the point where I just don’t want to do whatever it was I was looking forward to.
So this year, instead of focusing on Monday being THE FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL! I’m tricking myself into thinking that it’s just the second week back and it’s just another day. Yes, there will now be students and yes, I will now be teaching, but it’s just another day.
Except Monday is also Ellexa’s first day of “big girl school” (she attended pre-school at the same learning center she went to daycare). It’s her FIRST! DAY! OF SCHOOL! So I’m psyching myself out about that. Especially because our mornings are already so hectic and adding another school to the mix will definitely be testing our time constraints. I can’t not go to my child’s first day of school and walk her into her classroom and stay for a bit. I just can’t! So I’m praying it all works out and goes smoothly and she doesn’t cry and Elliah doesn’t have a meltdown at pre-school and I’m not epically late to work.
And oh my gosh, did I mention Caleb started 7th grade this year? He shot up and slimmed down and is all grown up.
And Monika. She’s a junior. A JUNIOR. What the hell, man???
I’m gonna go make me a tea and cry in a corner. Forget firsts! Bah.
I started going to the gym at the beginning of July. Prior to that I mainly ran every other day, three miles or so. The scale wasn’t moving, my legs looked okay, but not as toned as I’d like them to. I started the 30 Day Shred which had given me awesome results before, but nothing this time. Now I go to the gym every week day and do cardio/HIIT for a warm-up and then weights. I’ve gained five pounds. What the duck?
It’s frustrating. My body has changed and I’ve toned up in some areas, but I haven’t slimmed down at all. I’ve gained weight. And I mean, yeah, it’s still pretty awesome because my legs used to be one of the things I was super self conscious about and now I live in shorts, but still. Frustrating. I feel like I eat less than I used to. I got tired of logging shit on myfitnesspal every time I ate so I don’t know for sure anymore. And I mean, I know I can cut down on the snacking and late eating, and once I go back to work that’ll hopefully be easier, but ohmygosh why can’t I just drop a few pounds???
Don’t get me wrong. I have some new found confidence. Hell, I even bought a crop top to wear with a high-waisted skirt the other day. I feel stronger. I look better. But my mid-section is killing my vibe, yo. Maybe I should give up dairy? I feel bloated all the damn time. It sucks. So the new realization is that my diet sucks. I swear I could eat nothing but salads all damn day and still feel sick and bloated afterwards. So what do I eat?! Ugh.