I am currently (as I have been “currently” for what seems like the past 6 months) teetering between “utterly enraged” and “fuck it all, I don’t care anymore”
I feel like I have this need, this duty, to speak out against all that is unfair and not right and just…just plain not fair. I have been in a constant state of anger since like, March of this year.
Shit pops up. People are appalled. They feel entitled to this or entitled to that, and it’s like, no, broski, slow your fucking roll. If I have to (insert stupid compromise here), then you have to do the same. Todos coludos o todos rabones.
But noooooo. So then it’s like, well shit, if they’re speaking out and standing up for their cause, I need to do the same because shit.needs.to.be.fair. y’all.
But then I’m like, fuck this. I don’t have time for this drama. Higher powers will do what they decide to be best anyway, so why does it matter if we scream, pout, and stomp write strongly, but politely, worded emails. But then at the same time I keep thinking “the squeaky wheel gets the oil” but I HATE being a squeaky wheel and I know that some people have plenty of time to just squeak squeak squeekety squeak.
So now here I sit writing a damn blog post rather than an email because I just don’t even know where to begin other than “Look, this wouldn’t be fair and I feel quite appalled, really, that someone would have the audacity to (insert selfish asshole behavior here)…” and that just doesn’t seem like a productive thing to do.
And what’s even worse is that I know someone will read and think “oh she’s talking about X thing going on” while another will read and think “oh she’s talking about Z thing going on” and really, I’m talking about all the things going on because that’s just how life is rolling right now.
So here I am angrily clacking away at my keyboard while I could be drafting emails or better yet, not giving a damn. Not caring is really hard, guys. Damn.