So Monika’s ACL is torn.  The specialist also thinks she tore her lateral meniscus, but she’ll need an MRI to confirm.  She will need surgery to repair both ligaments.  He suggested doing the surgery ASAP.

Monika’s 15th birthday is in exactly three weeks.  Her quinceañera is four days later.  She is devastated.  I’m a wreck.

She didn’t talk much for hours after the appointment.  There wasn’t anything I could do to help.  That’s torture for a mother.

So now we have to decide whether to do the surgery before or after the party.  The party seems so trivial, but it’s not.  It’s something we have been planning and working towards for the past 2 years.  She has been looking forward to this since her 12th birthday.  It’s not just a party; it’s a life event.

And now this.  Yes, we can still have the party if she has the surgery before, but she won’t be able to dance much, if at all.  It breaks my heart because she loves to dance. And then phrases like that make me feel terrible for being thankless and not counting my blessings because it could have been much worse.

But I’m sad and angry and powerless in all this and it sucks.  I can’t imagine what she’s going through.

And soccer.  She might not be ready to play by the time the season starts and she was very much looking forward to playing varsity.  Now who knows what will happen with that. *deep sigh*

I just can’t.  All I can do is pray for guidance and strength and sanity.



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